OK, first of all, Uzbekistan used to be a republic in the Soviet Union, and is now an independent country; its' most famous city is Samarkand, on the ancient Silk Road. The Uzbeks are a Muslim Turkish people, and their diet is heavy on lamb, as you would expect of nomads. But because their country was ruled for so long by the Russians, the cuisine is Russian-influenced.
You need to know this to understand the fascinating and exotic mixture of tastes served in this excellent restaurant in a perfectly boring-looking minimall on Sunset Blvd. in Hollywood. You could drive past it a thousand times without knowing the terrific experience you're missing.
Uzbekistan is a medium-sized restaurant, quite respectable-looking, with round cloth covered tables and comfy booths. The place is kept pretty dark most nights, especially when live music is playing; and the private booths along the wall enhance the romantic atmosphere. The good-looking waiters, all with thick Russian accents, are very proud of the food they have to offer, and insist you pronounce the unfamiliar names correctly. But there is something about this restaurant that is ineffable, inexpressible.
Yes, there is something about this restaurant that says SEX SEX SEX. Most people think of French and Italian restaurants as romantic, but not Russian restaurants. Uzbekistan is beyond romantic -- it's sensual. Sensual to the nth. exponent. What is it? Is it the food -- spiced, exotic, heavy, unfamiliar?
Start with the great appetizers -- samsa (crispy turnovers filled with chopped meat) and piroshkis. As you might expect from Russian/Turkish cuisine, they offer a wide variety of shishkabobs, called shashlik, which are grilled perfectly, just up to the point where the meat is crisped and blackened a tiny bit on the outside and tender-juicy on the inside. The beef, chicken etc. are good; the sturgeon shashlik is even better (keep in mind I'm not usually fond of seafood) and you should get it if it's on special. This place is also famous for its' plov, a big pile of yellow rice pilaf with crispy chunks of lamb and vegetables on top. Ooh it's good, but one plov is too much for one person to eat it; you might want to get the Uzbekistan combination plate, which includes plov and shashlik. Stay away from the stews, which are heavy and bland.
Lagman are their terrific homemade noodles, with a texture that is thick, chewy, and perfect; you can get kaurma lagman with lamb and a special sauce or, for you vegetarians, with vegetables and sauce -- equally delicious. Chicken Kiev, a whole chicken baked in a pastry shell and truly juicy inside, is also popular.
There is where you take that girl you've been dating when you intend to close the deal. Yes, the heavy, spiced food soon lulls you and your date into a quasi-dream state. Late in the evening--past 9 o'clock--the place fills with Russians, whole families. If it's a Friday, Saturday or Sunday, there'll be live music -- a man playing a keyboard, and a woman singing romantic Russian songs. You don't need to understand the words to recognize the passion and wistful longing in her voice. Time for soulful conversation.
The lights go down, a mirrored disco ball spins and sends spots of light orbiting the room like a million tiny comets. So you sip your wine and look out through dreamy, half-lidded eyes, as people get up to dance--whole families--frail but spirited elderly women, balding middle-aged dads, young couples, and little girls in white dresses, their hands joined in a circle. There is something about watching a whole family dancing together which stimulates the reproductive urge. You look at your date across the table; she's thinking the same thing; yes, this evening's conclusion is foreordained.
Who can understand these ancient mysteries anyway. So relax. Even if the place is packed, no one is asking you to leave. Have another glass of wine.